Slowly Slipping Away
by januarylightsphere
Summary: REWRITTEN - This is just a dream, she thinks. Someday, everything will return to what it is, she hopes. And future can be trusted in good hands, she prays. Self Insert/OC story.
1. Chapter 1

So, I have decided to rewrite the entire story without informing everyone. The original version started on a whim, without any real plot and gradually, I felt it wasn't right for me and for the readers. Moreover, this resulted in plot holes and ridiculous cliche things.

With this version, I made many big changes, many major changes. But I hope it will come up to your expectations.

and actually, this is self insert, the sin of all fanfiction writers. the thirst. and i can't believe i'm writing one.

because... Dominique is my favorite OC.

 **notes:** please read other SI/OC fics from other fandom, they are much better fics than this.

* * *

 _To the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure._

Never before in her life had she wanted to meet Albus Dumbledore in person and punched him in the face.

On the second thought, she couldn't really blame him, for Albus Dumbledore was exactly what Rowling described him, brilliant and powerful.

But her mind wasn't well-organised, so obviously, she didn't think death was a next great adventure, especially when she didn't even remember how she died.

Yes, died. And she couldn't feel anything. Her supposed death was just beyond comprehension, a flash of lightning there, a sudden pain in the chest here, and it happened.

Okay, maybe she really didn't want to remember, maybe it was a dark part of her very existence that she wanted to forget, maybe something frightening happened to her little world - but whatever happened, she concluded, couldn't deny the fact that describing death was beyond her.

Good, she didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to talk if no one listened and no one believed, because what was the point? She had been living a pointless life (people whispered) and did many pointless things (people laughed).

She was so high in the air and a deafening ringing sounded out in her ears, maybe the echoes of voice, maybe of thunder, maybe there was only her own thought that kept repeating and repeating in her empty head. It was coming, and while it wasn't an instant death she'd expected, it was one nonetheless.

Oh.

When were the dead going to? Heaven or Hell? She could have sighed, really, because she knew she deserved the heaven. She was a good little girl, in her good little world, not harming even a fly - she could have laughed.

She wanted to laugh badly.

So, she didn't go to any place, because it was nothing. The dead couldn't feel, but through her blurring eyes, she could see it was nothing. It was so white, and she closed her eyes again.

Fuck that shit. The fact it was white or black or grey or red didn't matter, because what the dead could do anyway? She gave in to this vastness, to this silence, to this nothing.

She was ready to let go, she wished to go, she wished to -

Again, fuck that shit.

Because like usual, she had the luck. Maybe the higher power above was moody when they read her wish, so they messed up.

xxxx

"Wake up, wake up -" This was indeed the most horrible thing that could happen. Being able to hear thing was bad. Being able to feel something dropping on your skin was even more daunting (water, gosh, she could tell she was lying under the rain, what kind of person lying under the rain, on the muddy ground anyway? Not her, definitely not her.)

The voice she heard continued and echoed, and her ears were working and the world was falling apart.

(There was something maddeningly beautiful about the way the world fell around her, _oh, tell me something I don't know.)_

A drip on her eyelashes.

(floating machines - alarmingly familiar - blazed across the already darken sky.)

Another on her noise, she felt tickling.

(a girl - or young woman, grey eyes like zinc, swing her cutlass)

Another on her mouth, and it tasted cold.

(she sliced one machine in half and forgot there were more behind her.)

It was overwhelming, and she was choking, how could that woman survive?

(there was too much blood on her face, and grey eyes turned red at the sight of omeone falling down in front of her. The girl let out a scream of agony and it struck her head very hard that she felt like it was her screaming instead, and she couldn't comprehend whose brain that kept singing murmuring humming repetitive pleas and players of whywhywhywhy)

Her eyes snapped open, memories burning in her mind, and the scream wasn't just in dream anymore.

xxxx

"Your name is Dominique La Rue". The man in white-colored, hooded jacket told her a foreign name, and she could read the worry in his eyes. "Dominique La Rue. Exorcist. Black Order. Does anything ring a bell?"

She asked. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Yes. I'm sorry for your loss. Chris was close to you."

"Chris?"

"You don't remember? He was your Finder companion in this mission."

She blinked. None of this made sense to her at all. But at least she knew where she was now. She could have laughed, really, if moving lips hadn't hurt like a bitch.

The Finder pondered for a moment, before asking again: "Do you remember anything?"

She shook her head. Oh, this happened many times on fiction, right? When a person suddenly woke up in another body, they pretended they had forgotten anything. Incredibly helpful, may she add.

She glanced out the window, to avoid the Finder's eyes, to avoid the whiteness of hospital. She couldn't move, her legs were injured badly by Akuma, her back got a stab by the one level two, and she almost got killed by the Akuma's poison, but she'd survived, and the others were relieved, and they could wait until she was better, so they could come back to the Order and reported the mission - as if they had been used to it, as if it was normal.

In this world, nothing was normal. A world that young people, the ones chosen by something called Innocence, had to fight against a clan of deadly fighters, a clan that fell under the hatred towards human.

\- but in the canon world, there was no exorcist called Dominique La Rue.

* * *

 **How Daphne kills the mood:** Slow update. I'm sorry.


	2. Chapter 2

**disclaimer:** I do not own D-Gray man, especially when Hoshino-sensei has come back with all her glory.

 **also, thank you for all fav+ and follow.**

no, commence on the next chapter.

* * *

She was Dominique La Rue, and she wasn't really. But for heaven's sake, she would be called that from then on. Dominique La Rue, didn't the name have a nice ring to it?

So, Dominique. Nika would be better, or Dom - she personally liked to call herself 'Dom', to distinguish herself with the old one. 17. Exorcist. Equipment-type user, meaning she could be as good as dead at any given moment when facing Akuma. She definitely did something to offend the higher power above - why didn't they give her a parasite-type Innocence to increase her chance of living, but parasite type was rare, she supposed, not anyone could have that. At least they gave a sword - cutlass, to be exact, but sword nonetheless. Brownish hair. Thank goodness, it was such a normal color, just look at Allen's white hair or Lenalee's green hair, or Lavi's flaming red hair, or Kanda's nightsky hair. Grey eyes, which normally looked so cool (as Mister Finder said to her) and pale skin that tended to burn than tan. And a bruised face that looked relatively pretty, so Dom hoped that there would be no scar left.

Dominique, as Dom had learnt from Mr Finder, was a well-trained exorcist, who had been taken to Black Order when she was very young. She'd been living in an orphanage before her Innocence had attracted Akuma and got the whole place destroyed. The finder managed to save her was a young man named Chris, who, of course, died protecting her but not quite successfully, since there was a new soul living in Dominique La Rue's body.

Namely, Dom.

Lucky, right? The only fortunate thing was that she knew how to swing a sword. She couldn't imagine what could happen to her were she not to know how to handle the Innocence - speaking of which, she didn't even know about this Innocence's ability. Was she able to control it? Didn't Innocence choose exorcists? How could it not know that she wasn't Dominique?

\- maybe it just needed someone to use it to fight against Akuma. She didn't even bother to try to guess its mind.

But Dominique had survived with this Innocence for many many years, she was fast and strong and capable. She was everything that Dom wasn't. Dom could use this sword for sure but being able to survive is it was an entirely different matter. It was easy to die in this world, a shot from Akuma and you were ash, as if you had never existed before.

She unsheathed the sword - the sword, she didn't call it hers, not yet, for calling it hers sounded like an insult to Dominique's memories - and examined its blade. Silver, sharp, unbreakable.

 _Hey,_ she thought, before mentally slapping herself for being ridiculous. Honestly, she was trying to communicate with a sword? She didn't reach that level. Oh well, being ridiculous was that bad in this world, _I am not your master, do you know it? But I'm in her place now, I can't run away. Tell me how to work with you._

Of course there was no response.

"Miss La Rue, if you aren't comfortable, do tell us."

She nodded. The Finders were very helpful. Oh, did she mention that they were going back to the Order? She was lying in a compartment, unable to move because it hurt like hell to even blink. At least she'd escaped from the whiteness of hospital.

Mr Finder continued: "Please listen to the Head Nurse when you get back. And Supervisor Komui will have your head checked."

Right, the Head Nurse, who could drag Kanda without blinking an eyes, and Komui Lee, with his enormous drills -

Her thoughts stopped.

The Head Nurse.

Komui Lee.

Exorcists.

She was going to meet all of them in person.

Bloody hell.

"Are you alright?"

Her face must have looked white as Allen's hair at this point.

She said. "I just realized I don't remember them." And it wasn't an entire lie either. She didn't know them. She read from them in the manga, saw them animated in anime, but that was that, they were just... fictional. Unreal.

Seeing them in fresh might shock her, or make her die second time. Maybe Dominique's soul could come back if that happened.

...

 _Am I adjusting too quickly?_

Black Order, no matter where she saw it in manga, or anime, or now with her very own eyes, was impressive. Standing in front of the tower could even make Cross Marian look cute and little (again, she hadn't met the infamous general in person yet, so who was she to talk? But Cross Marian, genius and brilliant, would definitely say that 'don't you dare call anything related to me _cute and little'_ ). It hurt when she craned her neck to take a good look, it hurt when she had to keep an indifferent attitude, because even if _Dominique_ lost her memory (permanently, she could assure), she was still an Exorcist, she should feel familiar to it instead of gawking like an idiot.

Dom choses gawking mentally. Because it was worth it.

She looked around as much as possible, acting as a person who were doing her very best to remember what she'd lost.

Mr Finder (oh my god she couldn'r remember his name, _for god's sake man please tell me your name again because of my brain)_ led her to Komui's office, and Dom secretly let out a sigh of relief. Apparently, she being with a cane - no, Dominique with a cane because of this goddamn injured leg - could attract attention. It was like Dominique had never been in this situation, or the girl just hid it from others very well.

Dominique La Rue must have been a seriously troublesome young woman.

Mr Finder left her in Komui's workplace (seriously, she supposedly lost memories right, could he not imagine that she might forget Komui's face or not believe what Komui said? His faith in her was overwhelming.) to stare at a place looking like it had experienced a storm.

"I see you have come back from your mission in one piece." Komui said, and she had to agree. At least she still had two legs and two arms. "Well... not quite."

"I suppose." She shrugged, surprising herself. She wasn't excited as she felt she should. Or maybe it was because of Komui, with his smile and surprisingly warm voice. "I've forgotten many things. The Akuma Level two struck me in the head." And Dominique was dead so she took place. Fate worked strange, it didn't kill the one wanted to die, and kill the one that should live to protect the world instead, even if this world was fictional.

"Nothing at all?"

"Nothing. Not even my Innocence." She put the sword on his table.

"It didn't seem to have damage." Komui observed. "The name is Aetherius."

Aetherius, she repeated in her mind. "Well, it isn't French." Komui laughed at that. "Besides, I have no idea how to use it now. I remember wielding it -" The lies came so naturally, so smoothly, because deceiving was her second nature. "Komui, do you think Aetherius still accepts me?"

Innocence could abandon Exorcist, it would happen, and it happened in the original manga, in the canon world, and it made Lenalee devastated.

Komui shook his head. "I don't think it will happen to you. There is no sign of that. Still, it's necessary that I have you checked by Hevlaska. Synchronization rate might change."

"I see."

Hevlaska, Dom remembered, was an Exorcist as well. She held the Cube that held the instructions written by those who made Innocence, she had been acting as the Black Order's prophet and keeper of all currently found shards of Innocence for about one hundred years. But it didn't mean Dom wasn't squirming in discomfort when she confronted Hevlaska. She didn't know Innocence could change appearance that dramatically. Dom tried not to grimace when Hevlaska's tentacles touched her. She'd forgotten about this, _please don't let her read my mind, please please please -_

 _Don't let her read anything._

The tentacles left her body, and Dom couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief. Clutching her cane more tightly than ever, she inhaled as much air as possible. Gosh, her reaction must have been the worst that Komui had ever seen.

"How's her, Hevlaska?"

Hevlaska looked at Dom (was she? no one could really say.)

"The rate stays at 56%. Surprisingly lower than before. But don't worry. It'll keep better."

Dom considered that lucky. She could imagine the zero already.

"Well, at least it isn't under 50." Not zero. But Komui didn't hide a tiny bit of disappointment, because Dom knew he considered Dominique one of the best.

Hevlaska said: "You need to train more, child. Praying will get you nothing. But with your hands, you can get your bright future."

And, if Dominique was surprised, she didn't show it.

(but Hevlaska did, because she once predicted about Dominique La Rue, and it wasn't the same.)

* * *

 **notes:** i hope she doesn't sound like a Mary Sue.

Please review. All forms of feedback are welcome.


End file.
